I highly recommend CakePHP because the tutorials are easy to follow (even a monkey could do it) and whatever function you need chances are someone has already done it and blogged about it so all you have to do is follow along.

Have fun

Which Language? My suggestion is Ruby or Python. I have coded in C, C++, Java, PHP, Perl, Fortran, Cobol, Scheme, BASIC, and Lisp. I find those two languages very easy to read code and understand what is going on.

Now, you can write clean code in any language, its just those two languages are set up to in ways that encourage it.

PHP is hands down the volume winner in terms of total lines of code for internet marketing, so it would be my second choice.

In terms of what to read, I find any of the O’Reily books helpful. Start with a nutshell book, a cookbook, and if they have it algorithms (you will see what I mean as you puruse the O’reily titles)

These will get you started on your way to being a good hack / coder. If you ever want to make the jump to full software developer, then there are other issues to consider - like understanding data structures, user interface, etc.

Just get out their and write some code!

As far as the HTML and CSS is concerned, I would work on languages first. After that HTML is a breeze.

All points with respect to Ruby and Python are valid. Still I’d suggest to go with PHP, to begin with. Within a few hours you could be up and running. Other languages can be picked up later, if you have time and interest.

Just my two cents

For Databases, learn SQL. Get “Head First: SQL” - excellent book.

If you wanna design really big sites that you’d like to scale, Java or C are probably the way to go. I don’t think most people would need to scale beyond ruby/php, but if you really need to, you can write some of the processing code in Java or in Ruby Inline (lets you embed C in Ruby - way faster than PHP or any other scripting language, but you’d need to know C of course).

Don’t learn PHP. PHP is the C of web development. It’s powerful, but you’re going to be spending 80% of your time re-inventing the wheel and coding standard libs instead of working just on your main app’s logic.

The language itself also isn’t that great. I don’t wanna get technical but it’s not a true OO language (doesn’t support multiple inheritance, for example), it’s naturally insecure (though that might not be a prob if you use the right framework), and there aren’t many good frameworks available for it. From my experience, each one has pros and cons, and in my projects I usually settle for using a combination of 2-3 frameworks together. I.e., I take some things from cakePHP, some from Zend, etc.

ASP.net really has no advantages over any of the other languages. The only clients that really ask for it are ones who are very technically illiterate - those that Microsoft was able to sell to. *.NET usually accompanies 100 other Microsoft technologies like Exchange Server, IIS, etc.

Learn that and then you’ll have to re-learn everything when you leave the Microsoft world. Not recommended. It’s like being a professor CSS developer for IE. (Though, C#.NET is a great language, learn it eventually.. not for web dev though).

There seems to be a negative stigma attached to Ruby/Rails and sometimes Python in the SEO/AM scene, but they’re nearly all based on false data. I highly recommend starting with Ruby. You don’t need to learn Rails, there are other frameworks like Merb, but Ruby is VERY simple to learn and read, and the language itself is very advanced.

When you get into more advanced fields like DSLs and metaprogramming, Ruby stomps on the competition. Ruby’s metaprogramming features let you basically turn it into different languages. It’s completely customizable, and it’s the reason Rails/Merb/etc are so great. It also has a great community, it scales REALLY well (don’t believe rumors, Ruby Enterprise, mod_rails, etc..), and it’s easy to install and use on most servers these days (mod_rails, it’s like installing a PHP app.).

I think everyone in the SEO/AM scene should learn Python (w/ Django) or Rails because it’s extremely quick to develop in. I can go from blank slate to a Wordpress clone in a few days, for example. it’s great when you wake up in the middle of a night with a unique idea that can’t be accomplished by any existing framework. you can sit down and code a beta in days. This is because all the internal stuff exists.. you just call logic. And it’s readable:

If you want to get the date for 1 week from today, for example, you can do this:
Time.today + 7.days
or .. Time.today + 1.week
or even, 1.week.from_now

Also look into scRUBYt (Hpricot and Mechanize). Those making scrapping really simple. I can write a scraper for nearly any site in 20-30 mins. No messing with regex (though you can if you want to).